For the last few years I have noticed that making New Year Resolutions are very unpopular….it’s almost like the plague or something. I actually love making New Year Resolutions! To me this a great way to see how far I have come in one year. I have heard a couple people who said that they don’t make New Year Resolutions because they make goals throughout the whole year. I think if that is what works best for you, that is great! I do both. I make New Year Resolutions and then readjust them throughout the year and make new goals. At the end of the year, I am usually pretty happy even if I accomplished a goal I only made 3 months ago.
Why New Year Resolutions (Goals) Usually Fail
I have discovered through making goals for myself and helping clients there are several reason that can kill these goals. Here are the main reasons:
They are unrealistic. I can’t tell you how many times I have thought that I could do everything, like I am Wonder Woman or something! I end up making really unrealistic goals like “Without any training I’m going to run a 10 minute mile, have no junk food, have only organic food in my house, no sugar, all gluten free, I’m going to get over all my fears and this is all happening tomorrow!” Okay…I may have exaggerated some, but you get the gist. There are so many things that we think we should be good at right away or we expect are going to be no problem at all. So we keep adding these unrealistic goals and then we get so overwhelmed, and realize that we are not good at these things (right away), so we get discouraged and give up. We need to realize that practice make perfect applies to more things that we realize. Also baby steps are key! It is amazing how baby steps can add up real fast.
You lose interest. In this past, this was probably my biggest problem, in some areas it still is. I have never been diagnosed with ADD, but sometimes I wonder. My attention span, especially when it comes to exercising is very short. I use to think that I should only do one thing. I could either only go to the gym, or only go do yoga, or only go running. Then I would get bored with doing that one thing and then stop. I finally started modifying it. Waking up and seeing what I feel like doing that day. I’m still nowhere close to where I want to be, but I’m getting there. I am now happy if I get some form of movement per day. This can work for other things, not just exercising. Like diet, if you are eating a diet that you are bored with, there are plenty of modifications out there that can give it more flavor.
Fear is holding you back. There are two types of fear, healthy fear and fear that is holding you back. The healthy fear is for example what keeps you from jumping out of a plane without a parachute or playing on a busy highway. We need that kind of fear for survival. Then there is the type of fear that I know all too well, fear that is holding us back. This fear is keeping you from doing something because you are afraid of what other people are going to be thinking of you and making a fool out of yourself, or just being afraid to get out of your comfort level. Or you are afraid to fail, because we have been taught that failing is one of the worse things that can happen to us. Fear at held me back for so long. This is actually a goal that I decided to start working on during the summer. I have made great improvements on some of my fears. They still need some more improvements, but they are about 10 times better than they were before.
What has worked for me getting over some of these fears is asking myself, what is the worst that can happen? Most of the time I came up with people would be laughing at me or wouldn’t like me anymore. I’m pretty sure this is all in my head, but if my fear were to come true, then they are not good people and they shouldn’t be in my life anyways. So this could be a great way of weeding out those in my life that shouldn’t be in there. Win! I also found just DO IT! Whatever you want to do and fear is holding you back, just go for it! It’s like jumping into a pool. It’s going to be uncomfortable at first, but then after a short time you will get used to it! Then the fun begins!
My 2017 was everything I wanted, expected and more. Let’s get the struggles out of the way, because everyone has them. Our struggles were/are not that bad, we knew we were going to have them. We decided to make some sacrifices, so we could have a brighter future. The biggest one was actually made in 2016 when I decided to go back to school. School was amazing, but we were not getting the income we needed, so sacrifices had to be made and our pride had to be hurt a couple of times. However with these sacrifices, I am really excited about our future and I see great things coming our way!
Now for the fun things! I finished school, yay! This makes me so happy. When I was in high school, I felt stupid and worthless. So I didn’t get good grades and I barely graduated high school….in all honesty, I’m not quite sure how I did. With my school that I just finished, I did so much better than I ever expected. I think this just proves if I can go back to school and do well, anyone can!
I have also been working on becoming healthier emotionally and physically. More emotionally though. Like I mentioned before, I have been getting over some fears. The more I do this, the more I realize that they are just started to click into place. It is so awesome! Because I am getting over these fears, I am noticing that I am caring less and less about what other people think about me. I want people to think good thoughts about me, but I have always cared way too much! It has been really unhealthy how much I cared and it has really holding me back. Not caring so much, is something that I have been wanting for so long. I am feeling more and more confident and I am finding out who my true people are. My tribe! I love them so much!!!
My diet is getting better and better and I am discovering what makes my body happy. I started running, not as consistent as I would like, but I’m working on it. I seem to be having a much easier time with running now, than I did when I didn’t eat as healthy. So this just proves that eating healthy helps a lot. I got two colds in 2017, one was a full fledge cold and the other was more on the mild side. Both of them only lasted 3 day! Then they were completely done, no lingering cough, nothing! Good nutrition helps so much. I also learned how to meditate and I love it! This is something I wished I started a long time ago, because it helps so much both emotionally and physically!
Most importantly my family and I have been happy and healthy. I really couldn’t ask for more. All and all I feel like I conquered all but one of my goals for 2017 and then made even more goals and either conquered or in the process of conquering them!
Goals for 2018
Get rid of my belly fat. This is the one goal I made for 2017 that I didn’t accomplish. I feel like the combination, of going to school, building a business, healing more emotionally and just being lazy, I didn’t get this one done. Now that I am not going to school, I no longer have that as an excuse. So should have plenty of time to work on getting rid of belly fat.
Movement. I like to move it move it! I really need to move more and this will help with the belly fat. So my goal is to move for at least 30 minutes per day. Walking, running, dancing, heavy house chores, yoga, hiking…anything to help me break a sweat!
More positive thoughts. There is so much negative crap out there, I really don’t want to be adding to it. I am actually quite sensitive when it comes to negative stuff. It is so draining! So I want to think, talk and listen to more positive stuff. This even includes self-talk. What I think and say about myself will be more positive.
Listen more and ask more questions about the other people I am talking to. A few years ago, I found my voice. Which I think is a good thing, but with people I am really comfortable with and if they are not talkers themselves, I tend to talk their ears off and not give them a chance to speak. I realized the other day, I was talking with someone that I care very much about and they were asking questions about my life, but I didn’t ask about theirs. I was so in my own head and was so excited to answer their questions I ended up not about asking anything about them I definitely need to find the balance when it comes to using my voice and listening.
Fears. I will be continuing getting over some of my fears.
Create a successful business. Now that I am no longer in school, most of my attention is going to business and I am so excited and can’t wait to see where it is a year from now!
Fail. This year I want to fail so many times and not be afraid of it! This means, I am doing, living, learning, accomplishing and succeeding! I have been researching, studying and observing successful people and the one thing I have noticed that they all have in common, is they are not afraid to fail. They all just learn from what they failed from, reevaluate, adjust and try again.
I hope 2018 is amazing and magical for all of you!
Happy New Year!